I cannot referee a War of Farts
Or judge the best Booger Art
I don’t care who hit who first
Or who made the toilet smell the worst
I am not the mom who likes to see
Snails in the sink. I don’t care how they pee.
Please my sons, try to understand
I’m a girl, I like pink, not farting in front of a fan
I find no joy in watching you fight
Or a contest for who can stay up all night
I need a little peace, some chocolate and wine
And no poop left in the toilet. It’s NOT fine!