This week I received a catalog in the mail from my favorite lingerie store. Don’t get too excited, they don’t sell anything super sexy, it’s mainly awesomely comfy lounge wear and bra’s that actually fit. In this catalog was a robe. Now, I’ve been wanting a new robe for at least 2 years but I’m very picky. It can’t be anything that will make me too hot, it has to be pink, and I want it to be AHHHH inducing. This robe was all that and more. Luxurious, gorgeously pretty pink, and to make it all better, it came with a coupon – score!
I set the catalog and the coupon on the counter and decided I would go the very next day and get my new best friend. Then I went upstairs to put my son to bed and got undressed and put on my current robe. As soon as I tied the belt, my breath caught. I got a little sweaty and my heart was beating fast. WTF? I sat on the edge of the tub and realized I had tears. I spent a few seconds confused and it wasn’t until I was grabbing my robe belt to wipe my eyes that I realized why I was so emotional – this robe was not just a robe. This robe was everything that had happened to me in the past 12 years.
My ex-husband bought me the robe the Christmas my oldest was 2 (I *think this timing is right. I might have had it longer). I remember opening the box and falling in love. It was soft, hot pink with some bling on it and screamed “Come, wear me and let us relax in luxury together.” It wasn’t expensive, it wasn’t jewelry, or an extravagant trip somewhere. It was perfect.
This robe covered my pregnant belly with my second son until it just couldn’t contain the life I was building inside anymore. This robe has held more of my tears than I want to think about. This robe has been washed of baby smells, baby food, and sickness from both of my boys and has held their tears. This robe enveloped me after my second son was born and the post-partum depression was stealing my joy and my thyroid issues were taking my hair. It’s kept me warm and safe when my marriage was crumbling. It hugged me when my sister in law died and the sadness and loss stole my breath. It was my constant through every hard night, every joyous moment, and is the bright pink spot in many a picture of my life. My youngest once called it my “pretty pink dress,” and would get upset if I came to wake him in the mornings and had on anything other than my “dress.”
I don’t have a lot of “things” saved from my childhood. They were sold, given away or simply disappeared. I don’t have any family heirlooms that house memories and joy. I haven’t kept a lot of “stuff” from life, choosing to de-clutter and pare down more often than not. But I have this robe.
It’s thinning while I thicken. It’s tearing while I mend. It’s fading as I’m learning to shine. It’s my past, my present, and even though I AM going to buy that beautiful new robe, I am keeping this robe. I’ll keep it and when life throws me a curve ball and I’m feeling un-tethered, I will once again wrap myself in my pretty pink dress, let it hold my tears, and be thankful for this simple treasure that I chose to keep.
Did you know I have a book coming out?? Just Tell Me I’m Pretty releases Nov. 24th! Pre-order the Kindle version today or come back on Nov. 24th for the pretty print version!