To The Lucky Ones

Hey you, one of the lucky ones who commented on an article about a woman being groped, thank you for your input. It was enlightening to read your thoughts on child molestation/rape and women being sexually assaulted. I had never thought of the fact that a lot of these kids might just be making up stories and that a lot of these women might have been secretly hoping to attract some male attention. Why else would these kids have been playing with their toys in the living room or these women walking home from work or a friend’s house?

Thank you.

Thank you lucky one for taking the time to let us all know how you feel about how “uptight” all of us women seem these days about men making passes, comments, or even a little uninvited touching here and there. I hadn’t realized before reading your comments that this wasn’t as big a deal as we were making it out to be. I’d thought I was living among a human population that was advancing in its thinking, understanding that women are people, not objects. I assumed all men were advanced enough to be able to keep their mouths shut and their hands to themselves. I am indebted to you for schooling me (a silly woman) about how I need to “lighten up and be able to take a joke.” Now that I understand I can laugh and laugh if I ever find myself being groped by some stranger because hey, I’m progressive and I certainly can take a joke! Haha! See, I’m laughing.

I appreciate all of you lucky ones who have come forward baring your souls via comments on social media (it truly is brave). You’ve let us women know how you feel about the world today. How you as a man feel repressed and targeted because we are all so focused on “man-bashing” and making you look like the bad guys. I for one feel wretched since I hate the thought of ever making a person feel bad about themselves. I’m so sorry for the anguish you must have been going through, having to read all of the articles online about women (1 in 5 according to the CDC, I believe) who are claiming they have been touched/catcalled/raped/beaten by men and how angry they are about it. How angry we all are. That must be hard for you lucky one since you know, I mean really KNOW, that these statistics aren’t real. And you shared your knowledge with us, you’re sure they’re made up and B.S.


I think it’s probably more like 1 in 4 or 1 in 3. Why? Because so many women don’t report it. Kids too. Children who have been told they should fear for their life or the lives of their families if they tell. I am sure the stats ARE wrong – they are too fucking LOW.

I too am one of the lucky ones. I have never felt the terror (as a child or a grown woman) of not being in control of what is done to my body and my mind. I have never felt the fear, the shame, the anger that I have witnessed in some of my family and friends who have had to endure this sick torture. I have never had my life threatened, my sanity put into question, my morals judged or my attire investigated, to see if maybe I HAD wanted some man to have his way with me. If maybe I’d, “asked for it.”

I am lucky. I am thankful.

And I am angry.

I’m angry that there are still people who think this is not real, who can’t wrap their heads around the evil that is out there, who choose to look the other way, or question the statistics. I’m angry for every woman I know (and there are a LOT) that they have had their sense of safety, of value, their self-esteem, trampled on by some sick asshole, who thinks it is funny to say lewd things, hilarious to have a little feel and downright uproarious to just “have a little fun” with my loved one’s body.

I’d like to say to ALL the lucky ones out there, those who are not a statistic, don’t let that be an excuse for silence. Don’t let that be an excuse to look away, to not listen, to close your eyes. Please, until we’re at a place where children are safe in their homes, schools and on the streets, until women are safe on the bus, at schools, work, home, parks, please keep listening.

Keep looking out for your fellow humans, keep watching out for your people. Because that’s all we have, – each other. We’re all people bound together. Let’s do better.

Let’s work towards a world where we are ALL, the lucky ones.


Did you know you can pre-order my book – Just Tell Me I’m Pretty: Musings on a Messy Life?

Out in print on Nov. 24, 2017!


One Comment

  1. Hooray for you, Heather! Very well said. I fought this problem for my entire working career, until I started into my own business and could work out of my home. This problem needs to be brought out the way you’ve done it.

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