Luxury goods do more than fill closets—they send signals. Research shows men splurge on fancy watches to peacock their social status when trying to attract romantic partners. For women, luxury takes on a different job entirely. Enter the “mate screening motive,” a concept explaining how women use high-end brands to telegraph their relationship standards while fending off undesirable suitors. When external screening tools like dating app filters aren’t available, luxury goods step in as silent bouncers, ensuring only those who meet the unspoken requirements get through the figurative velvet rope.
Studies back this up: single women in settings with greater attention from potential partners dial up their luxury consumption. The shinier the Prada, the clearer the message—low-effort applicants, please swipe left.
Dating as a Stage Show: The Role of Signaling
First impressions in romance aren’t accidental—they’re calculated performances, and sometimes, the set design includes Gucci bags and Rolex watches. Luxury style works as a visual cue, broadcasting who you are or, more importantly, who you want people to think you are. Women, for example, may use high-end brands to communicate their relationship standards or weed out those who fail their vibe check. Men, on the other hand, often flex luxury to imply status and capability.
This visual game of show-and-tell is why tailored options like elite dating platforms are thriving. They don’t just reduce the guesswork by connecting people with shared lifestyles—they help filter “not my type” energy before the first overpriced appetizer is ordered. Luxury itself becomes a stand-in for deeper compatibility signals, setting the stage for modern romance.
The Economics of Swiping Right (or Left)
From swanky gifts to glam squad prep, Americans spend an average of $120,000 on dating over a lifetime. This isn’t some superficial indulgence; it’s a calculated investment. For many women, the dollars spent on luxury consumption are about maintaining a mating standard loud enough for the right audience to hear. Men, too, understand the power of a well-timed flex. Designer shoes and leased cars don’t stay in the rotation for no reason.
The financial stakes extend beyond handbags and jewelry. Dating has sent over a quarter of Americans into debt, tying luxury consumption and romance into a neat but costly package. As the dating industry thrives—growing at over 10% annually—brands and matchmaking services are cashing in, amplifying the premium placed on appearances and status symbols.
Fine Print: What Luxury Style Can’t Always Do
Before throwing a month’s rent at a Birkin bag, know that luxury consumption isn’t a silver bullet for screening or attracting mates. Research shows the power of the mate screening motive fades when other filters do the work, like those offered by dating apps. On platforms where preferences can be narrowed with a swipe, women depend less on logo-laden goods to send signals.
Moreover, when the quality of potential partners is high—think curated galas or networking events with solid talent—the emphasis shifts from screening to selecting. In these spaces, women look beyond the superficial signals of luxury and focus on meaningful interaction.
When Luxury Becomes Marketing Gold
For luxury brands, this is a goldmine. Understanding the psychological and behavioral reasons behind the mate screening motive opens up new marketing strategies. Campaigns targeting single women can lean into this by highlighting the role of fine jewelry or couture outfits in defining personal worth and standards. Pair the latest season’s bag with language that reinforces its utility as both an accessory and a communication tool, and sales will likely see a boost.
Meanwhile, dating platforms could learn a thing or two from this research. More tailored advertising could mirror the high-stakes nature of luxury consumption in the dating world. Not just a pair of Louboutins but perhaps an exclusive dating app membership—both positioning themselves as gatekeepers of quality and status.
